Someone asked me tonight if I had time for patience. "Of course", I answered. My entire life is about patience. I have patience every moment of every day while I care for my elderly parents as the simplest of tasks take several minutes to make connection in their aged brains to result in a response whether verbal or physical. I have had patience over the last 2 and a half years that I have been unable to go to my own home more than a few hours a week because most of my siblings found their lives and time too important to sacrifice. I have had patience while I brought my disabled parents with me every step of the way while helping my sister purchase a home this summer and moving....and even more so while the contractor we hired sucked the joy of our new home away with his incompetence and disrespect. I have patience with my rescue dogs who are afraid of people and various situations because of the horrible place they came from. I had patience as whatever cruel force in the universe decided to punch a hole in my world and in my heart and take from me the one dog I had that was the most loving, friendly, and trusting and who didn't even comprehend anything but kindness....and it happened so suddenly and horribly that I never got to say a proper goodbye or comfort him and tell him how much I loved him. I had patience with all of the vets who brushed off my concerns and gave me misdirection that contributed to the sudden demise of my beloved dog and with my family members who decided to terrorize my life and my parents to serve their own agendas. I have patience with my bipolar son who has the most loving heart in the world and struggles and with my sister who has a naturally crabby disposition but is my only sibling willing to be here with me for our parents and for our future. And lastly, I have patience with my physical limitations and this disease that decided to strike me down and crush the world as I knew it. I had patience while I lived on nothing in a camper in an alley unable to work any longer and barely eating. I had patience waiting for medical coverage so I could get help while watching my career and financial life go to ruin. This is not where I expected to be at this point in my life. My entire future is uncertain day to day. I have nearly nothing but perseverance and tremendous patience to get through the chaotic journey that is and has always been my life. I wonder why life seems to love to kick me when I'm down....and when I'm up. I have patience but with each new difficult challenge that life throws at me I feel myself becoming more and more shattered....and some days I wonder how much longer I will be able to keep holding the shards together. For now, I decide, at least one more day.